Saturday, December 18
just got back from carolling. i don't know why people think there's something matrix-y about wearing a slightly shiny and long black shirt with matt black pants, a tinsel tie and silver hoop earrings. whatever it is, i don't have to wear that again. i realised the younger people in my church seem to have a bit of an attitude problem. can't stand it, really. ah well none of my business, not like i have to hang around them a lot.
at one of the houses that we sang to.. someone performed a sort of mime to the song 'we are the reason'. i love that song. always have, always will. ever since i heard it many christmases ago. anyway listening to the song.. and with about a roomfull of people singing along with all their hearts.. i was forced to think once again about what christmas and easter really mean. more than santa claus [that smelly fat old man] and the easter bunny [what's with it's grin?]. especially at one part.. when the song went 'a man hung crying in the rain all because of love' and the dancers put their arms out with their heads resting on one arm.. the typical picture of Jesus's suffering. and i thought.. why did he love us so much.. why us. all we do is hurt him. again and again and again. if he gave us everything we wanted, the world would go hay-wire. and there isn't enough space to put it all anyway. but still we question him, and want everything we can't have. this is the kind of gratitude we show a king who allowed himself to be tortured. mocked by his own creations. what kind of puppet master would allow his puppets to demean him so? he isn't a puppet master, unlike what we usually feel. he's God. he's the only one we really need. and yet we go on chasing everything else. everything that will fade away. pining for all the loves that cannot be, yet rejecting the first form of love anyone ever knows. my heart hurts.
As little children, we would dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find
But we never realised a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
CHORUS:
We are the reason that He gave his life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
CHORUS
As the years went by we learnt about gifts
and giving of ourselves and what that means
on a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
all because of love, all because of love
CHORUS
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him
And ..
CHORUS
He is my reason to live...
it must've been love.
11:50 pm
xoxo
